Within The Big Society

“Morning Molly,” announced Dora brightly as she opened the door, “it is so kind of you to come and collect me again today, I don’t get out much these days”.

Molly reached out for Dora’s arm and helped her towards the parked minibus where the rest of the group eagerly waited. Every week a charitable organisation collected Dora, along with a group of four to five other ladies, and they all went out for a cup of tea and a piece of cake. This weekly outing was at times the only form of outside contact that members of the group encountered from week to week; Molly found this heartbreaking.

Molly, who was in her mid-forties, needed the company just as much as they did, therefore she too enjoyed these coffee mornings. She found that she gained incredible insight, and a deeper understanding, into surviving the hardships of life listening to the ladies talk about post-war Britain. Regardless of what life had thrown at them, they laughed it off and their outlook towards life was always so positive; Molly admired their courage and strength and was grateful for what the group, unbeknown to them, gave her in return.

Molly had recently started her new voluntary position helping out at a local charity, having being made redundant from her job six years earlier. As a result of her redundancy, she had suffered a bout of depression, which lasted for five years. She had been through the mill, and after this period, which she referred to as her stolen years, she had decided to get out and re-connect with her community once again. Her depression had been a long and tiresome process, and there were days were she felt that she would never see the light again, feeling completely lost, as if she were at the bottom of a dark pit.

Prior to these five years, Molly had been a proactive member of society, helping out at most of the community events and getting involved in every cause that was occurring in her local area. She was a fighter and protested for the rights of others, and would do all she could for those in need; hence, when she saw the advert in her local jobcentre, she jumped at the chance to help with this local charity. She felt this voluntary work was a new start and a move in the right direction, and once again she felt as if she had a purpose, that she was active, something worthwhile.

Once Dora and Molly had fastened their seat beats, the minibus drove off towards the popular little café on the corner of the High Street, the very one that the ladies had been frequenting for years. Suddenly, the air was filled with excited conversations, reviews of last week’s television programmes, and the local gossip all needed to be discussed.  The group exchanged what they felt was relevant, alongside what each of them ‘needed to know’. Molly felt a warm surge inside her and was touched by their closeness.

Most of the ladies were fragile and struggled to get out and about, except to the local shops once a week to collect milk, bread and other essentials. Cirencester was a small town with many hills; therefore, a large amount of walking was difficult for most of the group, so they only ventured out if they needed to go get in milk or bread.  Molly recalled thinking how lucky she was and that she took her mobility for granted. Hearing their stories of how hard it was to walk to town, Molly suddenly remembered the days when she herself had felt unable to leave the house, when the thought of going out into the sunlight was impossible, and so she had an understanding of what it feels like to be a prisoner in one’s own home. This may have been for different reasons; nevertheless the inability to leave the house was a similar feeling, a feeling of helplessness.

The minibus pulled up outside the café and the group shuffled out onto the pavement. This was a slow procedure as each of the ladies needed to be helped into the café one by one. Once they were all seated, they looked eagerly at the menu, excited as they decided what delight they were going to treat themselves with this week.

“Oh look!” said Dora, “Scones and clotted cream, oh yes, that’s my order”.

One of the other ladies saw the chocolate éclairs in the display cabinet, then, letting out an animated shriek, she said that she was going to have one of them, regardless of what her doctor had told her about watching her weight.

“At my age,” she said, “I am hardly going to pull a young man, am I?”

With this the ladies let out a chorus of laughter, as not only did they fully understand how she felt, but they felt exactly the same.

Molly smiled because she too knew how they felt, as into the third year of her depression, her husband proclaimed one evening that he was unable to cope with her mood-swings and was leaving. The truth of the matter was that he had been having an affair with her secretary, twenty years his junior. She did not blame him; however, when she was younger she had hoped that she would never fall into that category, the “husband leaves wife for secretary half his age” clique. She imagined the gossip as a shudder ran up her spine.

As the cakes and pots of tea arrived, the ladies began to tuck in to their chosen treats and the conversation fell silent for a while. Suddenly, Molly felt low, as memories of the past five years replayed in her mind.

“Are you alright my dear?” asked Dora, noting the Molly was slightly distant today.

“Yes, thank you” replied Molly, bringing herself back into the present and pushing her thoughts into the back of her mind.

Then suddenly something strange happened. As if Dora had read Molly’s thoughts, she began to tell the group a story about a young man that she had met during the war. She had thought the ‘sun shone out of his backside”, and when he had promised her the world, she had believed him.  She went on to tell a sad tale of how he had deceived her and left her with child, never to return. In order to keep her child, she needed to leave her small town where she lived with her family, and move into what is now known as a mother and child unit.  

Furthermore, she described the years she struggled to make ends meet as a single parent at a time when having a child outside wedlock was seen as sinful and frowned upon. She was unable to have contact with her family, as her father had disowned her, and without her family to support her, she felt so isolated and alone. After the birth of her son, she suffered from postnatal depression, once again explaining how this illness was hardly recognised in those days. People would tell her that she ‘needed to get a grip’, and she ‘had made her bed and had to lay in it’. She spoke of how she felt as if no-one understood her battle against postnatal depression, alongside her years of alcoholism.

Molly was amazed at Dora’s open and honest story, and admired the risk Dora had taken exposing this part of her life. Watching Dora as she sat here in the café eating her scone and cream, one would never have thought that she may have been though such a misfortunate life.  Molly felt a great sadness, not only for Dora but for herself too. Dora took hold of Molly’s hand and squeezed it tightly, as if she knew exactly what Molly was feeling; it was a very special moment.

The coffee morning had come to an end and the ladies were escorted into the minibus individually. Dora was the last to be collected, and as she walked arm-in-arm with Molly she said, “I see myself in you, I recognise the pain you are suffering. One day you will wake up and things will all make sense!”

Molly smiled as she admired Dora’s resilience. She knew that Dora was right, that one day she would wake up from this nightmare. After dropping all the ladies off and saying goodbye to Dora, Molly sat at home with a cup of tea while recalling the morning’s events. She marvelled at Dora’s bravery and admired her, for she had survived such a challenging life with no support neither from her family nor the community.

Molly suddenly realised how lucky she was to have the support of her children and parents, whom she had been pushing away for so long now. Molly wept softy for a while and felt the last five years release themselves from her memory; suddenly, things made sense.


MM C2012